Life races forward and for this reason my resentment is at a medium level. I challenged myself to try something new each week that kind of scares me and these new experiences are my way to force some growth. Look out for a post.
This past month was particularly hard because I am moving forward in life and I don’t get to talk to her about it. I keep telling people that I am working on filling my cup with the love I have for my mother but it’s just what I say to deflect people’s questions on how I’m doing.
I have been avoiding going to the cemetery. My brain isn’t processing the reasoning behind it all.
Here is how I am investing in myself:
- I am enrolled in a course on personal essays and am looking forward to how I am incorporate this into my blog
- Investing in my knowledge and skills through higher education
- Listening to Oprah’s motivation speeches every morning to pump up for the day
- Building a morning routine
- Starting my day with prayer and cry for my mom
- Investing more in my appearance and self-care like massages
- Learning to be more vulnerable
- Ew
This month was tough. There is a time when people stop asking you how you’re doing or they assume it doesn’t impact you every day. They have processed the secondary pain they felt for you and stop asking.
All isn’t lost. There are some fun developments in life that I don’t want to reveal yet and I am hopeful. When it develops, I will shout it from the roof top.
Much love.