Week three was a mental game, and I messed up. I’ve constructed my life to avoid discomfort, yet life isn’t ‘easy.’ Many habits felt challenged, and I often found myself easily agitated or honestly sad.
My workout routine remained the same, walking the stairs and weights. However, I didn’t do as many stairs and opted for a moderate incline walk on the treadmill.
Work pressure was intense, with marathon days of meetings leading to late-night work sessions. This meant my long workouts started at 7 PM, and I still had to go home, eat, and repeat the cycle the next morning. Life felt joyless, and I lost sight of why I was doing this. Yes, it’s only week three, and my world felt flipped.
I’m fortunate to have an excellent gym at work, making it a bit harder to cheat since I have to pass it to leave the building. My schedule became chaotic, shifting a couple of workouts from the regular schedule. Book club meetings meant Chinese takeout, dessert, and sugary mocktails, leading to guilt. I found myself walking in place to burn calories, which only continued to diminish the joy in life. This week was tough. Anxiety felt like a million bees buzzing deep inside, dulled but present.
I kept telling myself I needed to schedule a massage and spa day. But I also don’t want a life where I look forward to moments of it. I don’t expect to love every day, but I don’t want a life I need a vacation from to operate.
In retrospect, the best part of the week was recognizing damaging thought patterns. I also realized I have terrible relationships with men, either obsessing about the unavailable ones or treating the ones that are there poorly because I don’t actually like them. I turned down a guy I’ve been interested in for a while this week. Not sure why. I need to unpack this more. I think it’s too early to date right now.
I had maybe four days of terrible eating. My volume wasn’t terrible, and in fact, I even stayed within my calorie count. But! I ate a personal-size bag of chips with Sanders chocolate squares and then skipped dinner. I was starving. I did not fuel well or drink water.
One major win this week, though. I went out with friends to a concert. Not only did I not drink alcohol, but I also didn’t eat any snacks. However, I went out for the final Lions game against the 49ers and had a taco and margarita. Balance?
Despite the challenging week, I still lost weight.
Observations this week:
- Keep going despite any setbacks.
- Relationships will start to look different, even with people you’ve known your whole life.
- Stretch and stretch.
- Prep your gym back the night before.
- Drink at least 64 oz. of water before your first meal.
- And when all else fails, just walk.
Current lbs down: -10
Mood: mild dumpster fire
Current number of steps: I don’t remember
Songs: Dil Dooba
What’s my problem today: My body still aches.